What?
by Leoncrazy59
Summary: Every story prompt and trope in the Harry Potter fandom is utterly logical and without flaw or error at all. Harry/Snape/Dumbledore/Fluffy/Draco/Apple UNFINISHED, DISCONTINUED, UP FOR ADOPTION, ABANDONED, HIATUS, SEMI-PERMANENT HIATUS, UPDATED 5-4-2015, UPDATED IN THE FUTURE, NEED A BETA, STRONG CONFIDENT AUTHOR DON'T NEED NO BETA.


Lily stood in front of the crib defiantly, shielding her two babies from Voldemort. The dark lord chuckled menacingly, and waved his wand lightly. Lily quickly went out like a light.

 _Well, there's Severus's request fulfilled_ , Voldemort thought. He looked at the two twin boys sleeping side by side in their shared crib. With a note of delight in his voice, he incanted the words…

 _Avada Kedavra_

Magic suddenly flew out of Harry, enveloping the two babies. Voldemort screamed as his unblockable killing curse rebounded upon him and turned violent, an explosion shaking the entire house and damaging the entire floor, incidentally leaving Lily, who was lying on the ground just right behind him uninjured.

At last, the explosion ended. Voldemort was nothing more than a pile of ashes on the floor. Harry made a tired slurping sound, falling back onto the crib mattress, a lightning bolt-shaped scar on his forehead. His twin, named Satan Wong Boi Hoo Leif Potter looked curiously up at the roof.

The moment Voldemort's magical backlash had ended, events had come into place, events that would change things for years to come. A dust bunny was dislodged from one of the support beams within the ceiling, coming to a rest on the floor. Incidentally, this bumped into a screw. Because of magic, Newton's third law was violated, and a greater than equal and opposite push occurred, pushing the screw violently against another support beam within the ceiling. This beam immediately caved in, dislodging the ceiling within the Potter baby bedroom. This wasn't enough to knock the ceiling loose on the children however.

Then Satan used his accidental baby magic to throw his rattle at the roof. A piece of the ceiling, just barely large enough to leave a dent on his head, but small enough not to kill the twin fell down upon his head. The baby started crying loudly. Satan would be found by his awoken parents with a scar on his forehead that looked like a crescent moon if you squinted, twisted your head 30 degrees to the left side facing the baby directly, and started hopping on your left foot.

* * *

"Albus says we need to give up Harry, Lily. We can't give Satan the love he needs to defeat the dark lord again when Harry is soaking up half of it." James said frantically, having been arguing with his stubborn wife for half an hour now in front of the Dursley household.

"You know what…" Lily said, looking at James. "You're right. I've never heard of a household where two twins had a familial, loving relationship with each other and their parents. I'm perfectly willing to give up the baby I had just defended with my life now."

"Exactly." James said, roughly dropping the bundle of Harry on the porch of the Dursley's. "Now let's go get interviewed by the Daily Prophet."

* * *

"So, it turns out that you're the boy-who-lived." Dumbledore said apologetically, looking very sheepish at the injured teenager in his office, fresh from the Department of Mysteries. His very anxious family was beside him.

"How do you know?" Harry asked, confused how that would have been decided. All that had changed was Voldemort said that he had actually cursed Harry as a baby, instead of his twin Satan. How would the guy even know the difference? He had snake eyes, it wasn't like he could blink and see clearly.

"Voldemort named you as his equal, Harry." Dumbledore said gently, referring to the prophecy they had just listened to.

"Ok… but why does that suddenly mean you guys want me back in your family? Didn't you send me to the Dursley's when I was young?" Harry asked, still really confused, and not altogether believing Dumbledore's explanation.

"We did, but now that we know you're the boy-who-lived, we want to be your parents again." Lily said, tears rushing down her face.

What?

 **Authors Note: If you read this part, I guess you actually care about what the author has to say.**

 **I see the wrong-boy-who-lived trope all the time, and I've never understood the logical processes behind it. Why would James and Lily be unable to love two children at the same time? Why would Dumbledore encourage them to pull this kind of BS? There are more logical fallacies that are pretty common in these stories, but it annoys me too much to dissect them all.**

 **I'm not saying that authors who write this style of story are bad. I think they just got the idea from other authors, and like the ones before them never thought to pause and consider if this sequence of events was logical.**

 **Instead, I'm simply saying the original author who popularized this trope was a bad author.**


End file.
